 | Wilkommen! | Sep 1, 2006 |
It's been a while since I've let myself enjoy two things I love to do: writing and taking photographs. Here's me taking another stab at it. Take a peek into some of my random thoughts and my photographs. Here I am, almost a week after I flew halfway across the globe back to my homeland. A little bored. There's a ton of stuff for me to work on, but I just don't have the energy to start. The heat and humidity are not helping one bit :-P
I may have recovered a bit from jet lag. By this time the past few days, I'd be feeling awfully tired. But right now I'm a little restless. That's why I'm here, just writing.
There have been moments when I feel like I never left the country the past year. Things just seem the same. But then I see my brother Bien (who's done a lot of growing up), and it hits me that I was gone for quite a while. And that's when I start to miss Atlanta.
The last few months I've been complaining about having my US assignment extended multiple times - blame it on homesickness - but now that I've taken care of that by flying back home, well, I sort of want to go back. Not that I'm going to run to my managers and beg for another onshore assignment. It's just that, come on, I lived in Atlanta for a year...I can't help but feel a little attached....attached to our lovely Apt 817, my housemates (who were my family away from home), my other projectmates, new friends, old friends, the food, my work, the people at work, and basically just the whole package that is Atlanta, GA.
I guess it's time for me to let go, move on, and who knows, maybe I will get to go back some day.
Is this how it feels like to be at the end of a relationship? Hehehe...It kinda sucks. After years of ignoring my multiply site due to getting caught up with everything else, I have finally decided to revive it. I posted in the Welcome note in my home page that I will be using this as an opportunity to write and take photographs - two things I enjoy but never really gave my 100% on. Not that I am planning to pour all of my energy on these two, but it sure as hell is a healthy alternative from sitting on my butt and just doing nothing all day.
I was browsing through my site and realized it has been three years since I last made any significant updates here. Three years. Just about the time when our team had just concluded the transition tasks that brought me to Maryland, USA back in '07.
It's going to take me more than a blog entry to talk about those years. And I'm not planning to. So much just went on. But to sum it all up in a sentence: I've experienced growing pains much more in my team, than in my youth. There were times when I felt like giving up right on the spot, but it seemed unfair to do that to my team - my family away from home.
Ultimately, I think sticking around did a lot of good. I've grown up so much and realized I am capable of so much, as long as get out of my comfort zone. And looking at my teammates, I see they've done a lot of growing up as well, both my superiors and juniors. And I'm very proud of them :) [Hehehe, Management Updates??!!] But seriously, I meant what I just said.
OK, enough of all this drama. I've digressed too much already. Bottom line is, I was on a three-year hiatus with this blog thingie, and I'm bringing it back. For the heck of it. Let's see how this goes.
|  | Here's me taking a stab at photography. I have no plans of becoming a professional photographer, but I do enjoy taking pictures. |
| | Dahil mahilig ang mga tao sa multiple shots...eto ang kinalabasan! |
I never really bothered learning CSS -- as you can see with the past layout of my multiply page. Would love to, in the near future, but I've got other things to do for the moment. Luckily, there seem to be a number of people out there who have remarkable skill in CSS. I was browsing through a friend's multiply page and I found out she got her theme from a site called multiplythemes.com. I happened to like her theme a lot. So I decided to pay the site a visit, and soon enough I had quite a list of available themes that I wanted to try. And this is the first on my list: "coffee break". I prefer simple designs - pleasing to the eye and easy to read - over flashy ones where I need to exert effort just to make out the text on the page. Watcha think? So much has happened since I last posted...Wow...Been so tired coming home from work everyday that I've had no desire to do anything but eat something, watch a bit of TV, then go to bed. Screw all my personal e-mails and blog. Funny thing is, is not exactly work I get tired from. Crazy as it may sound, I have been enjoying MOST of what I've been doing at work. It's exhausting, yes, but I like putting my brain to good use. It's traveling to and from work that's killing me! An hour and a half (average) spent on the road is such a waste of time and energy. It's just sooo sad. Anyway, I've finally said bye-bye to dial-up connection (or have I said this before?)...Yehey!!! It had been a tough time getting to this point..and I'd rather not tell the whole story because it frustrates me. But basically, a DSL connection wasn't as easy to get from where I live. What else? Hmm...well...I've gotten back into the habit of smoking (i know, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!) But before certain people out there react, I'd like to point out that this was not caused any work-related stress. Well, it's partly because it is an effective ice breaker for me...and partly because of a certain "balikbayan" friend whom I've always associated with smoking (peace tau!)...and partly because I miss it. But I'm limiting it to just about a stick or two a day! Promise! Haven't been able to play much football lately. I'm trying to take care of my left knee, which has been acting up lately. Nowadays I have to wear knee support to be able to play...or else my knee would hurt so bad I'd just collapse. So saaad. Sigh..so many things I'd like to write more about..yet so little time (I still have to go to work in a few hours!) and so little energy. So, I'll just get back to this when I have the chance. Ta-ta! It is with great shame that I make this announcement: I disrupted 122 days of nicotine-free living, by taking two sticks of Marlboro Lights this afternoon. I take it back. I'm not ashamed at all. It felt so damn good to inhale all that smoke..and doing so after 4 long smoke-free months, it felt invigorating. It felt like coming home. (Wtf..?!?!) Why did I do it? I'm not so sure. It's like all the frustration, depression, and confusion I've felt over the littlest things for the past few months added up this morning and weighed me down. I felt so much better after I had that mini-smoking session with my former yosi buddy. But, no, I'm not going back to my old ways. What happened this afternoon was just like applying a maintenance patch to a server. Or like taking a few days off from work (which I think I definitely need and deserve!). You don't do it everyday. It's just a little somethin' somethin' to keep you going. What the heck am I talking about? So there, now that I've rebooted my system...I think I can process quite efficiently for the next couple of months. (Talk about major palusot!!! Ahahahahaha)
No kidding. It's been a hundred and five days. The great thing about this is, since I flew back to Manila, I've had lots of opportunities to smoke, and I never took any Ü Not even when my startgroup-mate / yosi-buddy flaunted his cigarette in my face. Not even when I joined a drinking session with my projectmates. Not even when I felt really stressed out because of work. Not even when I felt depressed for no reason at all. Not even when my stomach got full from all that eating. Dammit, I should be proud. And, well, I am! Hahahaha. Owwoo-owwoo! I think I better stop calling this blog series, "Going Cold Turkey". I think I've gotten past that already. Asteeeeg. It's been a while since I'ved logged on and updated my Multiply account, mainly because I am painfully aware of how slow dial-up is. And unfortunately for me, dial-up is my only means of connecting to the internet, at the moment. I know, you're probably asking, "Why don't you get DSL?". Well, I have tried it. Guess what...I happen to live in an area where that's not possible, due to a number of reasons I'd rather not enumerate right now. So let's leave it at that. I miss our internet connection back in Bethesda. I was downloading stuff like crazy! Plus I got to clean up my inboxes pretty quick. And I was able to update my friendster, myspace, and multiply accounts quickly. And that's how I got to write quite a number of blog entries. Something I don't usually do. So now I'm connected at 53.2 Kbps, trying to write my latest blog entry at 12:09 AM. I can't sleep, even though I need it. Had a little too much to drink last Wednesday night and I think I still have quite some alchohol running through my bloodstream. I think I owe my friends some pics I haven't uploaded yet. It has been brought to my attention about two weeks ago...Sorry Talaga! Dial-up really just sucks. Haha. I'll try to upload them in my spare time at work. Hehehe. Can't wait to see my family and friends again... Can't wait to play football and futsal again... Can't wait to get my at-least-once-a-month dose of food tripping with my college buddies, Flor and Raqi... Can't wait to spend my lunch breaks at work with my start group... Can't wait to eat sisig and crispy pata... Can't wait to get my weekly dose of coconut juice!!! Not so eager to get stuck in traffic (and in the MRT)... Not so eager to melt in the heat and humidity... Not so eager to have my allergic rhinitis back (need to get Claritin back into my bloodstream, haha!)... Not so eager to get back to work... Will be missing my apartment in Bethesda... Will be missing the cold climate... Will be missing my ATL teammates... Will be missing the dishwasher... Will be missing the food disposal unit... Will be missing housekeeping every 2 weeks... 10 days and counting!!! Yihee!!! Ü Wahoo...it's been 63 days since I last smoked. That's 3 days past my 60-day mark. My theory is, the reasons why it's been so easy for me to quit this time around are: - No one else on my team smokes. I don't have any smoking buddies here.
- I had a bad experience about smoking in a foreign country. I'd rather not go into details, but basically I was smoking in public one day, and a police officer approached me because he thought I was a minor. I didn't have my ID that day. Crap.
- For me, sucking the cold air in feels exactly like smoking a menthol ciggie. Blowing it out looks like I'm blowing out ciggie smoke. It's been an effective substitute for me, seriously.
- I smoke a lot when I drink, and I haven't had the opportunity to drink here, so there.
Next Target: 90 days. I'll be back in Manila then. No cold air. More opportunity to drink. Smoking buddies an AIM or call away. Police Officers? Like they care. We'll see what happens. 
| | Times Square Madness on New Year's Eve! Plus a bunch of other miscellaneous pics while we were at NYC. |
| | I'm baaccckk.....
This time I got to ride the subway train...and meet up with an old college friend :) |
| | A Trip to the Sweetest Place on Earth..and then to place with lots of lights and lots of casinos.. |
One more week before I reach my two-month mark...time sure does fly fast. I actually almost gave in a couple of hours ago...got upset over something I shouldn't have (something I mentioned in my previous blog, hahaha)..but that's me...I don't usually get upset...but then I can get upset over something that's completely not worth getting upset over. I hate myself. I ended up drinking a bottle of Smirnoff Ice that's been inside the fridge for a couple of weeks now (unopened, of course. Nobody else has been drinking it. Sayang naman). It was either that or a bottle of Bud light. Bud light tastes so bland compared to beer back home, so I opted for something with a little more flavor. But it's got so little alcohol in it. I'm gonna grab a beer...  Happy New Year! I hope you had a fun new year weekend. I know I did..
Went to Jersey...stayed at friends' house... Went to New York...met with an old college buddy and got to ride the subway... Went to Hershey, PA (The Sweetest Place on Earth!)... Went to Atlantic City, NJ ... won in the slot machine... Went back to NYC...met a new friend....spent 6 hours in the cold, standing about 4 blocks away from Times Square...to wait for that stupid ball to drop... (Though it was an interesting 6 hours...i'm so not friggin' doing it again)... Got back to MD then everything turned to shit. I'd rather not talk about the details. I've told two people already, and i'm not talking anymore. Anyway, I wish for a more safe, prosperous, and fun 2008 for everyone. A Belated Merry Christmas to all...and Happy New Year, too! "Once you have made your decision and made plans, Quitting is not that hard ... Staying off is the difficult part." from http://www.smokehelp.org/html/cold_turkey.html --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Amen. It was indeed easy to quit. In my case, all I had to do was not buy a lighter, and keep my ciggies out of my sight. But now, 32 smoke-free days later, I find myself wanting to take my pack of Dunhills out of my drawer. Smoking was an effective ice breaker for me at work. And without it for the past month....well....let's just say I've had moments of extreme restlessness in my cube the past few weeks. I'm having trouble thinking..and there are moments that I'd end up staring into space....and there are times when my mind would just go blank. And then in between, I'd think about how nice it would be if I can get my daily dose of nicotine. I'd been getting the same yearning for some nicotine fix when I began to feel the pressure of work, or when I began to feel upset..which I have both felt these past few weeks. Ayayay...this is not good. I'm starting to worry that anytime soon, I'd lose my cool and give in. And I don't want that, I was really hoping to follow this through this time. I did a quick google search today and found some interesting tips that may help me quit smoking for good: from http://whyquit.com/joel/Joel_03_01_tip_sheet.html - Do not carry cigarettes.
- Concentrate on not smoking from the time you wake up until you go to sleep.
- Work on developing the attitude that you are doing yourself a favor by not smoking. Do not dwell on the idea that you are depriving yourself of a cigarette. You are ridding yourself of full-fledged smoking because you care enough about yourself to want to.
- Be proud that you are not smoking.
- Be aware that many routine situations will trigger the urge for a cigarette. Situations which will trigger a response include: drinking coffee, alcohol, sitting in a bar, social events with smoking friends, card games, the end of meals. Try to maintain your normal routine while quitting. If any event seems too tough, leave it and go back to it later. Do not feel you must give up any activity forever. Everything you did as a smoker, you will learn to do at least as well, and maybe better, as an ex-smoker.
- Make a list of all the reasons you want to quit smoking. Keep this list with you, preferably where you used to carry your cigarettes. When you find yourself reaching for a cigarette, take out your list and read it.
- To help avoid weight gain, eat vegetables and fruit instead of candies and pastries. Celery and carrots can be used safely as short-term substitutes for cigarettes.
- If you are concerned about weight gain, do some moderate form of regular exercise. If you have not been exercising regularly, consult your physician for a practical exercise program which is safe for you.
- If you encounter a crisis, (e.g. a flat tire, flood, blizzard, family illness) while quitting, remember, smoking is no solution. Smoking will just complicate the original situation while creating another crisis, a relapse into the nicotine addiction.
- Consider yourself a “smoke-a-holic.” One puff and you can become hooked again. No matter how long you have been off, don't think you can safely take a puff!
- Don't debate with yourself how much you want a cigarette. Ask yourself how do you feel about going back to your old level of consumption. Smoking is an all or nothing proposition.
- Save the money you usually spend on cigarettes and buy yourself something you really want after a week or a month. Save for a year and you can treat yourself to a vacation.
- Practice deep breathing exercises when you have a craving.
- Go places where you normally can't smoke, such as movies, libraries and no smoking sections of restaurants.
- Tell people around you that you have quit smoking.
Might be helpful to other quitters out there...Hope it helps me Ü  I am a smoker, yet I have not smoked for 22 days...not since I had my 3 sticks at the NGO airport in Japan. They had such a nice smoking booth, btw. Complete with ash trays, lighters, and good ventilation.
I never meant to quit smoking when I flew out to Maryland. Heck, I even brought with me a few packs of cigarettes to help me get through 77 days in the US, while I partipate in knowledge transition activities with my project's client. A couple of things eventually led me to do so: 1. Due to lack of rest and sanity on the day of my flight (10 Nov 2007), I brought the wrong kind of lighter: the kind that airport security prohibits. 2. I'm very sensitive to cold weather -- the moment the plane landed in DTW, I started having my usual cold-weather allergies (and got some fever on the side as well). I've acclimatized to the weather now, though, and I haven't gotten sick lately Ü I felt that I've just been given a slight push towards living a smoke-free life... A reason (albeit a silly one) to quit smoking..which is something I rarely realize. The last time I decided to quit was about a year ago, and I was able to keep my lungs clean, so to speak, for about 2 months. I'm aiming for something longer than that, this time around. So...stay tuned to find out whether I can make it or not (Hopefully I can!).  | Guestbook | |
 | musta? .. just dropping by :) |
 | Ei Jols! Musta na 'Pinas? Nagsisimula na rin uminit-init dito na onti eh, hehe. Touched naman ako, ipinangalan mo sakin yung isan mong album :P Kelan uli biyahe palabas ng bansa? |
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